Of all the Incels in the world, you’re the Inceliest.
Scene 1
[Charlie Brown and Linus open the doors to a nightclub and find seats at the bar]
Charlie Brown: I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. There are so many cute girls, but I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand girls, I guess. Good grief! I’ve tried texting them selfies, and I’m always wearing my best Axe Sweet Baboo Enforcer body spray, and flexing in the nicest yellow polo shirts and all that, but I’m still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed. …
It’s just a mask.
It’s just six lightyears.
It’s just the third moon of Tatooine.
It’s just a few droids.
It’s just non-essential Jedi.
It’s just non-essential Jedi mind tricks.
It’s just a shortage of carbonite.
It’s just a few bad Storm Troopers.
It’s just a few Sand People looting an old star destroyer.
It’s just the Galactic Republic.
It’s just Imperial remnants found during the Battle of Endor.
It’s just a few dead Ewoks.
It’s just the purge of the Jedi Order.
It’s just the lure of the Dark Side.
It’s just a Force bond with The heir to the Empire. …
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